Blogging, I’ve first heard of this word quite a number of years ago. It was quite of a grey area for me when I first heard it, the reason for that? because I am not confident in my own writing. I get self-conscious about my grammar, punctuations and all that English technical stuff. You see, I am trilingual, English literally is not my 2nd language it’s actually my 3rd. I speak my mother tongue which is Tagalog then there comes my dialect which is Ilocano and then English. My brain most of the time looks like a battlefield; not like I am struggling with English at all it’s just that when I want a word or a phrase in English but I know it in my language and I couldn’t figure out in my head the direct translation of the said word because sometimes it doesn’t have a direct translation so it needs rephrasing, it’s kind of tiring sometimes. Anyhow, so why am I starting my blog now? What made me go for it?
I like to write, even though I am not the best at it, I do like to write. I think I can be more expressive with words than in action. There’s this sense of relief that I feel every time I write and I feel that writing has that bit of romance in it. So, when I write I just either use Microsoft word to just write my thoughts or notes or on a piece of paper. I also have written various novels however they’re all unfinished (I’ll post a snippet here soon). As of the moment though I have no intentions on publishing my stories because my goal is to finish them then see how it goes.
So why now? I quite do not know what made me push myself to do it, I have read a few blogs from different people prior to me having a go at it and I just kept on thinking I’d like to do it too (I have been itching to do it for quite some time now). I can only think of a few things that triggered me to finally make a blog;
- An outlet
Recently, I have been feeling unwanted negative emotions due to mental health issues and recently I have been finding myself in that centre of emotions. I am finding it hard to divert myself from it so I needed something that will make me focus on something else. I need my brain to actually work in a different manner. Now, I do not know if it’s totally working because I am just new to this but the important thing is I am enjoying it so far. That’s what matters right?
- Share a dream or two
I have a section here in my blog where in I’d be writing about my adventures in my dreams and a friend has told me to write it because they seem quite bizarre and interesting. So, it played in my head for a good while and I think this is the right platform for it. Apart from sharing odd dreams, I’d like to share my thoughts, my feeling and other things that comes along with it. You see, I haven’t got many friends and most of the time I only talk to my husband, it’s not like I do not want to talk to my friends about stuff or anything however I am not that confident in sharing what’s on my head maybe in fear of being judged or self-consciousness, it’s not like I have no confidence in my friends, they’re great friends and I am always thankful for having them. However, I think I just want to keep them to myself or maybe not; I do not know, it’s just me probably.
- Self-esteem / confidence
Like I said earlier, I haven’t got that much confidence when it comes to my own work sometimes I think it’s good then doubt it after. So, by doing this maybe it’ll give me a little bit of boost? I don’t know, like maybe just by posting a bit may give me a little bit of that “see! you can do it” something like that.
I think this will connect on the first one, it gives my brain a task to be at least bring out its creative side of it. Maybe by giving my brain a nudge may help me cope on my day to day issues and I think this is better than looking at my social media and not getting anything out of it.
I think that’s it. Here I am now doing it and I am enjoying it. Whether someone is interested on reading my blog or not, it’s okay. The most important here is I am enjoying this and I feel a sense of fulfilment by writing. If at some point I made connections with other people then that’s great! Thank you, if not I’d still be thankful. So, that’s all for now, till next time!